Episode 128: Droppin’ Balls Like It’s New Years Eve

January 4, 2019

Happy 2019! Ring in the new year with some old acquaintances that should definitely not be forgot — your Tournamental Podcast pals! Grab some mistletoe and some yule (wait, that was the last holiday), and snuggle in for the best podcast episode 2019 has to offer (so far).

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Two thousand 19-year-olds. Cam, if he had followed through with all of his past New Years resolutions. A personal train. Zooey Deschanel in a ballgown. Very Oldman. JJ Macho Hancho. Auld Lang Sykes. Old Wang Swine.

THIS EPISODE'S SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would win in a fight atop the Times Square Ball as it descends for 60 seconds? If the fight lasts longer than 60 seconds, both characters get diarrhea...
  2. Who would you rather drink on New Years Eve (if blended)?
  3. Who you smoochin' at midnight?

THIS EPISODE'S SEXY SEGMENTS:

  • Why to Jay?
  • What substance do you want in your diaper?
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Episode 127: Another Christmas in the Trenches

December 11, 2018

This is it. Don't get scared now. Pour yourself a little nog and slice yourself a little hog, because it's time to *~chill~* out with the merriest, jolliest ol' Christmas special you ever stuffed into your merry, jolly ol' brains, you little Christmas miracles.

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

The Sticky Bandits. The Pain Deer. The Bisons By Night. Kevin McAlister, 20 years later. Wing Crosby. Ratvent calendar. The girl who ate the bagel next to Cameron. Frosty the Blow Man.

THIS EPISODE'S SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would make a better lead in the following Christmas film?
  2. Who should replace the baby Jesus in the nativity scene?
  3. Who would you rather have come to your door and profess their unrequited love to you via cue cards?

THIS EPISODE'S SEXY SEGMENTS:

  • Which reindeer is Jay, according to Buzzfeed?
  • Is it ding or is it dong?
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Episode 126: Best We Forget

November 17, 2018

What are some things from your past you'd like to forget forever? In this episode, we discuss several pop culture references that have no business taking up space in our memory banks. So we're talking about them . . . for the last time.

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Al Borland. Pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog. Pharrell's big hat. Small Soldiers. Will Smith's current children. Rayman. Two girls one cup. Godzilla on rollerblades. 

THIS EPISODE'S SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would you rather remember in the following way?
  2. Who is the Gordy to the other's Babe?
  3. Who would you rather have tattooed all over your body in a Momento situation?

THIS EPISODE'S SEXY SEGMENTS:

  • Which one is Jay?
  • Which Saturday morning cartoons belong on Mount Rushmore?
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Return-amental! Season 2, Ep. 1: A hecka spooky Halloween episode

October 19, 2018

We're back! We made 124 episodes, rested for 23 months (to observe the metric Sabbath), and now it's time to turn mental once again . . .

. . . in this extra spooky Halloween episode!

Subscribe on iTunes.

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Halloween Winslow family. Boo Bee. Big Boo Radley. A spicy ghost. Battered batter bats bat batter. Jay Jameson: Do Not Resuscitate. Franklinstein. Edward Scissor Hams.

THIS EPISODE'S SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would you rather spend a night inside in order to inherit them?
  2. Who would you have as the subject of your horror novel?
  3. Who would you rather have as your The Mask mask?

THIS EPISODE'S SEXY SEGMENTS:

  • Not in my coffin!
  • Is this porn?
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We’re Sleepy! Tournamental Takes a Little Break.

November 29, 2016

But don't freak out! We'll be back, hot and fresh, before you know it. So everybody just settle down, okay?

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EPISODE 124: “A Dazzling Array of Denzel Washingtons Displayed in Intricate yet Symmetrical Patterns”

November 7, 2016
THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

A Denzeleidoscope. The line from Tetris. A bag of nuclear submarines. All 10 seasons of The Big Bang Theory on VHS. Mario Farty. Whoopsy Jay Z’s. The Thunderbirds. Pope Jope Pope the Opal. Tony the hot dog guy. The cast of Duck Tails. Blaine Christie. A guy dressed up as Bambi. Cake-a-doodle-doo. Dorothy in a tank. Scooby Don’t. Rubber Baby Bungee Jumper.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would win the following rhyming scenario?
  2. Who would you rather be scared by every night, à la Monsters Inc.?
  3. Whose Pandora’s Box would you rather unleash on the world?
  4. Who would win in a fight in a chest-deep pool of water?
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Episode 123: “Halloween Edition! Skele-Tom-Selleck Tryna Come Kill You”

October 31, 2016
THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

A group of tiny scary clowns. The bare Mitch project. Skele-Tom-Selleck. Ouija board. Polterscheiss. The Ghost Thrusters. A spooky carnival soothsayer. Centipede human. A chorus line of dancing skeletons. A fussy mom ghost. Feather Face. Did that suit of armor just move? Probably Captain Hook or something. Sinister Snake. Death on rollerblades. A babe in an ill-conceived sexy Bert costume.
 
THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would you rather have on your team for the following Halloween party game?
  2. Whose zombie horde would sooner kill the three hosts?
  3. Who would make the sexier ghost?
  4. Who would you rather be possessed by while shopping for pants with your mom in Nordstrom?
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Episode 122: “Tournament of Champions V: Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Nicolas KGB”

October 24, 2016
THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

A Hapless Malaysia Airlines Public Relations Expert. The Biking. Nicolas KGB. The Cokey Monster. The Pubermench. Bear Bones Barry Bonds Bearing Bearer Bonds. The Flaming Guitarist from Mad Max. Twice-ems. Ganapati. Spider-Man Waist-Deep in Chocolate Pudding. Fugitive Monopoly Man. The Humour Tumor. Laura Ingalls Wildling. Bald Ego (Donald Trump as an eagle). The Truth Sandwich.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would win in the following random Wikipedia scenario?
  2. Who would you rather Weekend at Bernie's?
  3. Who would you rather have living in your pubes?
  4. Whose furry road would you rather go Mad to Max on?

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Episode 121: “Tournament of the Inferior IV: Your Mom and the Dumpster Clown”

October 17, 2016

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Donald Trump shot in the face. Bare Bones Barry Bonds Baring Barer Bonds. Diggity Dango Babinski Ping Pong Face. A Nine Foot Pile of Beans. Optimus Pride. The Light Packer Heat Packing Punk Pecking Pelican. Leon Wetlegs Purcell. Overhead Bin Laden. The Church of Ladder Jay Snakes. Chocolate Wifi. The Cokey Monster. Gollum with the One Ring to Rule the Mall. Klaxon the baby with the Civil War Era Pistol. Mango Unchained. Dumpster Clown. The Hounds From the Hood.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
1. Who would you rather have read you a bed time story and then bang your mom?
2. Who would you rather have as the stuffing in your bean bag chair?
3. Who would better impersonate a rocket ship?
4. Who would you rather have replace the sun?
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Episode 120: “Cheese Wizard”

October 3, 2016

THIS WEEK'S CHARACTERS:

M. Night Shamonalan. John Handcock. A Pod of Serial Killer Whales. Dr. Phantasmo. Hickory Dickory Cock. All the Gold Medalists. Crazy Horse. Diarrea Dog from Spooky Buddies. Cheese Wizard. Hulk Hogan Sculpted from Play Dough. Aunty Beans. Your Boss. Haz Matt. Nash glued into a gorilla suit. A cool little snowy owl. Tony Almeida. 

THIS WEEK'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
1. Crazy Cosmo Sex Tips Part II.
2. Who would you rather have as your imaginary friend?
3. Who would win in a thumb war?
4. Whose hat would you rather be?
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